


Just the Way I Am

by MoonlitMarauder



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Coming Out, Fluff, Gen, Hogwarts Fourth Year, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Marauders Fest, Marauders Friendship (Harry Potter), ”Text Fic”
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-09
Updated: 2021-02-09
Packaged: 2021-03-18 02:07:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28859316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MoonlitMarauder/pseuds/MoonlitMarauder
Summary: The Marauders have almost completed their masterpiece, The Marauders Map. The problem for Remus is now he has to tell them his deepest darkest secret.
Relationships: Marauders friendship - Relationship
Comments: 14
Kudos: 15
Collections: Marauders Fest 2020





	Just the Way I Am

**Author's Note:**

> Written for prompt F1. To the prompter, I hope this is everything you wanted.
> 
> Thank you to my lovely beta Prongs. 
> 
> To the mods, thank you for running such a chill and laid back fest. I had a lot of fun writing this piece!

  
It was almost complete, the four teens looked down at what would most likely be their masterpiece. To most people it would just look like a blueprint of Hogwarts, which in itself was impressive, but to the teenage boys, it was much much more. Four wide smiles, well three and James’ smug smirk, beamed at each other after a moment of staring down at the almost complete project. 

All that was left was the grounds and the charms. Remus had been practicing the charms day and night. Charms that weren’t taught to just any student at Hogwarts, but ever the academic, Remus was able to learn the names of the necessary charms from Flitwick and did the research himself in the library. He’d actually gotten quite proficient in charms this past year. He’d learned how to do more basic advanced charms throughout his year long research, his favorite being the charmed parchments for him and his friends to communicate when they weren’t able to speak in person.

Speaking of needing to communicate with his friends, he really needed to let them in on his secret. Soon they would see that he was not actually going to St. Mungos once a month for treatment for a ‘family blood curse’. Once the map was completed they would see he was only going as far as the Shrieking Shack. But how did one just come out and say ‘I know we’ve been friends for four years now but did you know that I’m actually a monstrous werewolf?’. He knew he didn’t have much time, there was only so long he could delay putting the charm on the parchment. A charm he’d actually mastered three weeks ago. 

The common room had started to empty around the four boys as their fellow Gryffindors headed to bed. Mondays wait for no witch or wizard unfortunately. They packed up their parchment, quills and books, then also made their way to their dorm. They hid their creation in Remus’ trunk under a disillusionment charm, the four excited boys got ready for bed. 

+++++++

The next day, Remus was sitting in Arthimacy alone. Maybe now would be a good time to tell his friends about his little(big) problem. He pulled out his charmed parchment. 

**Remus- Mates, I really need to tell you something**. 

_James- It’s okay Remus I know, you fancy Minnie._

Sirius- No Jamesey, I fancy Minnie. Remus fancies chocolate.

**Remus- I do fancy chocolate but that's not what I have to say.**

_Peter- Oh I want to join in on who we fancy. I fancy cheesecake!_

R,J,S- WE KNOW!

 **Remus- Back to my secret please**?

_James- Oh yes Remus, what is this deep burning secret of yours is._

**Remus- ~~I’m a w-~~**

He looked down at the parchment in front of him. Now is the time, he needed to do this. But what if they rejected him? What if they decided his condition is too much? What if they decided he was too dangerous to be around? The what if’s consumed him. He decided he would just do it tomorrow. 

**Remus- It was me, I was the one who changed out James’ Sleakeasy Potion for the hot pink hair dye.**

Sirius- I KNEW IT! 

J _ames- That was you?! I’ve been blaming McKinnon this entire time._

 _Peter- Classic Remus._

**Remus- Man it feels great to get that off my chest. We should do this again sometime.**

Sirius- Wait, you have more secrets that we don’t know about?

**Remus- …**

_James- I don’t like the sound of this._

_Peter- I like this game._

Remus cleared out the parchment and tucked it away. He’ll just try again tomorrow. Yeah, tomorrow would be better. He returned his attention back to class as Professor Aurora drone on. He’d missed completely what topic they were focusing on for the day. He’d have to feign some illness that had him distracted and ask after class for further clarification. 

Later that afternoon he found he had a free period and decided to spend time in the library catching up on his Transfiguration homework. While he suspected he was McGonagall’s favorite, that didn’t spare him from her wrath on a missing assignment, unless it was around the full moon that is. That excuse won’t be usable for another but it did put in perspective that he needed to come clean to his friends before then.

He felt a slight vibration charm come from his satchel, one of his friends must be trying to contact them. When he pulled out the parchment he had missed quite a few messages.

 _Peter- I’m scared of cats_.

Sirius-You’ve always been afraid of my love, Minnie. I know. It’s okay though Peter, I forgive you. 

_James- If you could be any animal, what animal would you be? I would be a Stag, so majestic with my antlers._

Sirius- A dog. I mean I already have the shaggy hair you can’t help but pet. And I’m just so lovable.

**Remus- You need constant attention like a dog too.**

_ Peter- I’d be a mouse.  _

Sirius- Remus you wound me!

_Peter- Haha. Remus dips for hours just to come back with an insult._

**Remus- We were all thinking it, I just was the one to say it.**

_James- Peter, your fear of cats runs deep doesn’t it?_

_ Peter- Yes! Vile creatures they are! Always hissing and swiping with their paws like little arseholes.  _

_James- Sirius is pouting on his bed. I thought everyone would like to know._

**Remus- Why am I not surprised?**

Sirius- I’m not pouting. I’m planning my revenge. 

_James- Sure you are._

_ Peter- REMUS! Oh Merlin. Sirius is eating your chocolate! _

**Remus- HE’S DOING WHAT NOW?**

_James- He found your chocolate stash, and now he’s picking through it looking for “The most delicious piece he can find.”_

Sirius- Oh such creamy white chocolate this is. 

**Remus- Carry on then.**

_Peter- You’re just going to let him get away with eating your chocolate?_

**Remus- I have to tell you guys something.**

_James- Oh my godric, you don’t even like chocolate?_

**Remus- Where would you get that idea from? Chocolate is the love of my life.**

Sirius- I thought I was the love of your life?

_ Peter- Cheesecake is the love of my life, I understand.  _

**Remus- First of all, Sirius, you expect to be the love of my life when you’re in love with our Professor that is old enough to be your mother? Secondly, none of this is what I have to tell you. Thirdly, Peter, you love cheesecake more than life itself.**

_James- Well the suspense is killing me._

Could he just tell them now? They’re all in the dorm while he’s in the library. He wouldn’t see them until dinner. Would they still sit with him at dinner? He just needs to do it. 

Sirius- Hurry up Remus, we wouldn’t want James to die before he learns all of your deepest darkest secrets. 

_ Peter- James is dying???? Don’t go into the light James!! I’m on my way, don’t die on me now.  _

_James-Figure of speech Peter, no need to rush over from your bed. Merlin._

**Remus-Well as entertaining as that was. I’ll tell you on the condition you won’t freak out and you’ll let me fully explain first before you jump to conclusions? Agree?**

Sirius- But jumping to conclusions is my specialty!

**Remus- Just hear me out this once. Please?**

Sirius- If I must.

_James- I would never jump to conclusions._

_ Peter- What are conclusions? _

**Remus- Okay well..**

**Remus- ~~I’m a w~~**

**Remus- I really despise white chocolate. It’s not real. It’s fake chocolate.**

_James-We’ve been buying you variety chocolates this entire time and you don’t even like one bloody third of what we’ve been giving you, gov’ner?_

Sirius- So you won’t mind if I just take all of the white chocolate from your ‘secret’ stash? I wouldn’t want you to be stuck eating it if you don’t like it.

**Remus- As long as you leave my dark chocolate alone, have at it.**

**Remus- I’ll know if you take one. I’ve counted them.**

Sirius- I knew you were my favorite for a reason!

_James- Oi! I thought I was the favorite._

Sirius- That was yesterday.

_Peter- Do you think the dinner is ready in the Great Hall yet?_

**Remus- You have thirty minutes Peter, I’ll meet you there.**

Packing up his parchment, Remus returned the books to their proper shelves and headed down to the Great Hall. He knew he was going to be early, but it would give him a few moments alone to figure out how he was going to tell his friends. Would they ever trust him again after finding out he’d been lying to them for four years now? Would they understand that he had been so happy to finally have friends that he didn’t want to jeopardize that by telling them he was a monster? Great, he’d moved on from what ifs to would theys. Same questions just started differently. He groaned, dropping his head down on the heavy table that would soon be laden with a feast. One by one his friends trickled into the Hall, all donning bright smiles. He let himself drown in their excitement to see him and let him forget about his worries. Just for tonight. Tomorrow. Tomorrow he would tell them. 

+++++++

On Wednesday the four boys all had the same free period, usually this time was used working on their map of Hogwarts but today each boy was in their bed, curtains drawn. 

“Everyone still awake?” Remus called out to the quiet room. He knew how Sirius liked to take a nap during his free periods if he could. A chorus of ‘yeahs’ responded back to him. He already had his parchment out. He knew it would feel better to write it out and then be able to deal with the aftermath in person. 

**Remus- I have one final secret to tell you. I would feel better if I just wrote it here and then we can talk about it if you have any questions.**

_James- Rem, you know you can tell us anything at any time. We would never seriously judge you for anything._

Sirius- I would do it Siriusly.

A chorus of groans filled the room at obvious pun. 

Peter- I will only judge you for putting toppings on your cheesecake, peasant. 

**Remus- Okay well there’s something about me that you don’t know. I’ve been like this since a young age and I can’t help it. There’s nothing I can do to change it. There isn’t a cure and likely won’t be one in my lifetime.**

Sirius- Remus, are you dying? Are you sick? Can I help? 

“Sirius I’m not dying, just let me finish please.” He called out to the otherwise quiet room. “Okay maybe writing it out wasn’t the best plan.”

He took a deep breath before continuing. “Like I said, it’s not something I can change about myself. I.. I wish I could. Life would be so much easier if I could.”

“Remus. Just spit it out already. We will listen to whatever you have to say after you tell us.” James called from his bed across the room. 

“Okay okay okay.” This was it, he was going to tell them right now. “Okay, my big secret is..”

“Well it’s thatIamrathergayactually.” Oh Merlin that is not what he intended to blurt out. It had all come out in a panicked rush. “Oh Godric, Rowena, Helga and even Salazar that is not what I meant to tell you.” 

_James- I’m rather gay myself too. Well bisexual actually._

Sirius- I thought I was the gay friend! Are you telling me that I’m just surrounded by gay friends?

_ Peter- I’m not gay but I’m not attracted to anyone sexually. All I need in my life is my cheesecake.  _

**Remus- Really? I’m not alone? Okay but I really do have one more secret.**

_James- That you’re a werewolf?_

Sirius- Yeah mate, we have all known about that since second year. 

_ Peter- We actually have our own secret.  _

**Remus- Wait? You knew?**

Sirius- Of course we did, why else would we have a mandrake leaf in our mouth for the last three weeks. 

_Peter- The full moon cannot come fast enough, mandrake flavored cheesecake is not as appealing as it sounds._

He heard the rustling of curtains followed by the padding of feet across the room. A muffled thwack from what must be Peter’s bed, was followed by, “ow! I was just saying..” James must have hit him upside the head like usual. At Sirius’ snicker James piped up, “watch it or your next Siri.” A brief silence once again enveloped the room but it was a comfortable silence, not one filled with the tension of before. 

_James- It is rather inconvenient to snog someone with a mouthful of mandrake, makes my mouth taste funny, or so I’m told._

**Remus- Who are you snogging Jamesey?**

_James- That’s for me know and for you to not find out._

Sirius- I am a master investigator, I will figure it out by tea time. 

**Remus- Are you guys really becoming animagi? What if it goes wrong?**

_James- While you have been learning the charms for the map, we’ve been researching how to be animagus quite extensively. The cloak has come in handy many times._

Sirius-We knew after the last full moon that we had to do something to help you. 

_James- We were hoping to surprise you the next time your furry little problem came around but we’re glad you decided to trust us with the information on your own._

_Peter- Can we stop writing and talk in person now? I’ve had to keep this a secret for a whole month now._

Remus was the first one out of his bed, he stood in the middle of the room, his friends joining him. He felt completely happy and free now that they knew his secret, well secrets really, and that they had not judged him for being a monster. No, instead here they stood with him, smiling at him the same way they had the first time they met on the Hogwarts Express on their maiden trip to Hogwarts. Knowing that they had known, and not only stood by him but found a way to help him gave Remus the first real hope he’d ever felt in his life.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I would love to hear your thoughts and feedback!


End file.
